It comes when u least expect it! And the truth really hurts so bad! So bad you would question God "why me?"
A few years back I started feeling in denial of what was inevitable. I tried feeling alright, feeling healthy and feeling I can overcome it without seeing a doctor. But those feelings were just states of denial.
And one fine morning I was in a clinic room undergoing ultrasound and bang! A big lump has been found on my left breast accompanied by mulitple lymph nodes in my armpit!
The next day I was inside the operating room praying to God that "I am entering this room alive Lord and if I can survive it and you will not be taking me yet in your kingdom, you will let me come out alive, but if it is my time, take me while I am deeply sedated," I prayed to the Lord.
The next episode I felt that God did not take me yet...I was in the recovery room shouting...looking for my kids. But I was told later I was a very good patient, no shouting, no mumbling like what I thought I was doing.
The grenade-shaped drip hanging on my stomach confirmed my worst fears. My lump is malignant. I underwent radical mastectomy-left breast. Invasive ductal carcinoma-stage 3.
When the surgeon broke the news, I was not moved. I pretended to be strong in front of my kids. No tears but a sad smile escaped my lips.
Still in a state of denial.
When reality sank in, panic came. But then, the only thing that will make you strong is your faith in God.
I turned to God. Yes, it was only God who gave me peace of mind and assurance that I will be fine. In between my strong surrender to God are episodes of hopelessness, tears, heartaches.
To God I have surrendered everything now. Because I have the assurance that when the time comes that He will take me, I will be in heaven with Him because I accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my own personal Saviour.
I am undergoing chemo treatment now. I will have my 4th cycle on Monday. Way to go. Seven more cycles including my Monday cycle.
It is my prayer that God will heal me through this treatment. I believe I still have a lot of unfinished business here on earth that God wants me to accomplish first before He will take me.
Nothing makes sense anymore except when you submit everything to God! To anyone who will read this writing, I covet your prayers for a miracle, that I will soon be cancer-free! God bless us all!
Amity
Dreams Are My Reality
“Dreams are like the paints of a great artist. Your dreams are your paints, the world is your canvas. Believing, is the brush that converts your dreams into a masterpiece of reality.”
Thursday, December 03, 2015
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
When We Grow Old and Gray
When
we grow old and gray
Hand
in hand we go and say a prayer
Inside
the wayside, small chapel
When
we grow old and gray
Like
a carefree child in the past
Butterflies and dragonflies we
will chase
When
we grow old and gray
In a beautiful thatched cottage will be our abode
Chickens,
goats, dogs, cows keep us company
When
we grow old and gray
Your guitar you will pluck and strum
And
together we'll sing our theme lullaby
When we grow old and gray
Along the seashore we'll take long walks
And watch the sun rising gracefully in the horizon
When we grow old and gray
Along the seashore we'll take long walks
And watch the sun rising gracefully in the horizon
When
we grow old and gray
Beautiful sunsets we will watch
Underneath
the canopy of giant trees
When
we grow old and gray
My favorite chicken broth you will always cook
And together we will share hearty meals
When
we grow old and gray
In a hammock we will lie down and relax
Watch
the moon, count the zillion stars above
When we grow old and gray
Colorful summer clothes we will often wear
And play hide and seek under the coconut groves
When we grow old and gray
Colorful summer clothes we will often wear
And play hide and seek under the coconut groves
When
we grow old and gray
You
will kiss my forehead and whisper me
Sweet
nothings like we often do
When
we grow and gray
In your strong arms you will carry me
And
make graceful pirouettes amidst laughter
When
we grow old and gray
And
finally be at my deathbed
Please
watch me take my last breath and say
That
you have loved me more than anything else in this world
And
promise me that we will meet again in heaven soon!
~*~*~*~
Posted by
Amity
at
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Soul Mate
Prelude:
One lazy Sunday morning, my Preety Sistah of My White Window chanced upon me in FB (today)! I clicked LIKE on a post of her which goes this way and I quote: "You write so beautifully....the inside of your mind must be a terrible place." Then we had some few exchanges encouraging me to give life again to a dormant blog (this blog of mine) which had been sleeping for quite sometime now...and out of this pitter-patter feelings I have at the moment when she nudged me, I promised, yes, I promised to write something today!
So, dear pretty, I am penning some few lines here and hopefully you will like it!It's a topic I am wishing to write about ever since...or I guess I may have touched this topic a bit from my past posts...:-)
SOULMATE
I wish I would have found him
And I can start believing in miracles and magic
In a world that's full of strangers
I wish to wake up each day with him
And hear his voice softly whispering in my ears
That he loves me more than anything else
I wish to watch beautiful sunsets with him
And walk hand in hand, feeling the warmth
As we chase tiny ripples along the seashores
I wish to spend simple dinner with him
And share the good and the bad times
We have had in this chaotic world
I wish to dance the night away with him
And get mesmerized in the romantic music
That accompanies our nervous steps on the dance floor
I wish to share and tell him all
The pains, the tears, the disappointments
The triumphs, the joys and the laughter..
And I wish I will have the courage to let him know
That he is the best thing that ever happened to me
And I will love him with my whole heart, body and soul!
x x x
Terrible thoughts dear Pretty, from a beautiful mind... :D Errrrr...the silent, romantic side of me huh!
Posted by
Amity
at
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Sunday, December 30, 2012
New
In twenty thirteen
I pray for new hope, blessings
And gladness in life!
~*~*~*~
Written for Haiku Heights
Prompt: NEW
Posted by
Amity
at
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Sunday, December 02, 2012
STORMS I YEARN
Lord, please flood my life
With tidal waves of blessings
And storms of grace!
Life's blessings I yearn
Happiness, peace, contentment
For my family!
~*~*~*~
Written for Haiku Heights
Prompt: STORM
Also for One Single Impression
Prompt: YEARN
Posted by
Amity
at
Sunday, December 02, 2012
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