Fighting the Big C

It comes when u least expect it! And the truth really hurts so bad! So bad you would question God "why me?"

A few years back I started feeling in denial of what was inevitable. I tried feeling alright, feeling healthy and feeling I can overcome it without seeing a doctor. But those feelings were just states of denial.

And one fine morning I was in a clinic room undergoing ultrasound and bang! A big lump has been found on my left breast accompanied by mulitple lymph nodes in my armpit!

The next day I was inside the operating room praying to God that "I am entering this room alive Lord and if I can survive it and you will not be taking me yet in your kingdom, you will let me come out alive, but if it is my time, take me while I am deeply sedated," I prayed to the Lord.

The next episode I felt that God did not take me yet...I was in the recovery room shouting...looking for my kids. But I was told later I was a very good patient, no shouting, no mumbling like what I thought I was doing.

The grenade-shaped drip hanging on my stomach confirmed my worst fears. My lump is malignant. I underwent radical mastectomy-left breast. Invasive ductal carcinoma-stage 3.

When the surgeon broke the news, I was not moved. I pretended to be strong in front of my kids. No tears but a sad smile escaped my lips.

Still in a state of denial.

When reality sank in, panic came. But then, the only thing that will make you strong is your faith in God.

I turned to God. Yes, it was only God who gave me peace of mind and assurance that I will be fine. In between my strong surrender to God are episodes of hopelessness, tears, heartaches.

To God I have surrendered everything now. Because I have the assurance that when the time comes that He will take me, I will be in heaven with Him because I accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my own personal Saviour.

I am undergoing chemo treatment now. I will have my 4th cycle on Monday. Way to go. Seven more cycles including my Monday cycle.

It is my prayer that God will heal me through this treatment. I believe I still have a lot of unfinished business here on earth that God wants me to accomplish first before He will take me.

Nothing makes sense anymore except when you submit everything to God! To anyone who will read this writing, I covet your prayers for a miracle, that I will soon be cancer-free! God bless us all!

Amity

When We Grow Old and Gray

When we grow old and gray

Hand in hand we go and say a prayer

Inside the wayside, small chapel

When we grow old and gray

Like a carefree child in the past

Butterflies and dragonflies we will chase 

When we grow old and gray

In a beautiful thatched cottage will be our abode

Chickens, goats, dogs, cows keep us company

When we grow old and gray

Your guitar you will pluck and strum

And together we'll sing our theme lullaby

When we grow old and gray
Along the seashore we'll take long walks
And watch the sun rising gracefully in the horizon

When we grow old and gray

Beautiful sunsets we will watch

Underneath the canopy of giant trees

When we grow old and gray

My favorite chicken broth you will always cook

And together we will share hearty meals

When we grow old and gray

In a hammock we will lie down and relax

Watch the moon, count the zillion stars above

When we grow old and gray
Colorful summer clothes we will often wear
And play hide and seek under the coconut groves

When we grow old and gray

You will kiss my forehead and whisper me

Sweet nothings like we often do

When we grow and gray

In your strong arms you will carry me

And make graceful pirouettes amidst laughter

When we grow old and gray

And finally be at my deathbed

Please watch me take my last breath and say

That you have loved me more than anything else in this world

And promise me that we will meet again in heaven soon!

~*~*~*~

Soul Mate

Prelude:

One lazy Sunday morning, my Preety Sistah of My White Window chanced upon me in FB (today)! I clicked LIKE on a post of her which goes this way and I quote: "You write so beautifully....the inside of your mind must be a terrible place." Then we had some few exchanges encouraging me to give life again to a dormant blog (this blog of mine) which had been sleeping for quite sometime now...and out of this pitter-patter feelings I have at the moment when she nudged me, I promised, yes, I promised to write something today! 

So, dear pretty, I am penning some few lines here and hopefully you will like it!It's a topic I am wishing to write about ever since...or I guess I may have touched this topic a bit from my past posts...:-)

SOULMATE

I wish I would have found him

And I can start believing in miracles and magic

In a world that's full of strangers

I wish to wake up each day with him

And hear his voice softly whispering in my ears

That he loves me more than anything else

I wish to watch beautiful sunsets with him

And walk hand in hand, feeling the warmth 

As we chase tiny ripples along the seashores

I wish to spend simple dinner with him

And share the good and the bad times

We have had in this chaotic world

I wish to dance the night away with him

And get mesmerized in the romantic music

That accompanies our nervous steps on the dance floor

I wish to share and tell him all

The pains, the tears, the disappointments

The triumphs, the joys and the laughter..

And I wish I will have the courage to let him know

That he is the best thing that ever happened to me

And I will love him with my whole heart, body and soul!

x x x 

Terrible thoughts dear Pretty, from a beautiful mind... :D Errrrr...the silent, romantic side of me huh!

New

In twenty thirteen

I pray for new hope, blessings

And gladness in life!   

~*~*~*~

Written for Haiku Heights

Prompt: NEW

STORMS I YEARN

Lord, please flood my life

With tidal waves of blessings

And storms of grace!

Life's blessings I yearn

Happiness, peace, contentment

For my family!

~*~*~*~

Written for Haiku Heights

Prompt: STORM

Also for One Single Impression

Prompt: YEARN

Happy 4th Anniversary!

Happy 4th Blog Anniversary!

Today is my blog's 4th anniversary! I almost forgot. Thanks to a short conversation with Lena of the Colors of My Soul . Without that small chat over FB, I may not be reminded of how special is today!

Happy anniversary to my blog "Dreams Are My Reality"!

Like what is etched in my blog: “Dreams are like the paints of a great artist. Your dreams are your paints, the world is your canvas. Believing, is the brush that converts your dreams into a masterpiece of reality.”

And because of that, I firmly believe that "Dreams are true interpreters of our inclinations, but art is required to sort and understand them. – Michel De Montaigne - 

"I think I shall write books and get rich and famous; that would suit me, so that is my favorite dream"...:-)

Looking forward to that day when I will finally be writing my own book! Hopefully! :D

P.S. My passion for baking of late stole lots of my time for writing, hence my blog went a-lazy for so many times.

And yet, I was not able to bake a cake for my blog's anniversary! :-(

Celebrate Vengeance

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 33; the thirty-third edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for the month is 'Celebrations'

She plunged the glinting dagger deeply with force into his heart.

Shocked as he was, he struggled gasping for breath and clutching his heart….until he lay drenched in a pool of his own blood.

Then he breathed his last with his eyes staring in anger towards her vengeful face.

After years of suffering, she could finally heave a sigh of relief and be happy as she swiped clean the bloody dagger.

He was a selfish rogue. He didn't give her what was due to her. All he did was to try in vain to take advantage of her subordinate position. But she never gave in. 

He thought one day she will fall in his trap and tried his trick. But she was smarter than he knew and she could keep him at bay. The dirty old wretch actually deserved more than what she did.

If only it was needed to plunge that dagger as many times as she wanted, she would have happily done it. But the initial plunge itself was enough to take the devil’s life. Her anger had not subsided and she was not satisfied.

She now sat in a cozy corner in a private coffee nook sipping her hot coffee as she recollected that fateful day with that devil.

Finally, it is time for her to celebrate!

The eagerly  awaited end of a fiend had come. 

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Introduced By: Leo of I Rhyme Without Reason. Participation Count: 12

Photo courtesy

 

Nature

My own photo...

Commune with nature

A forlorn soul’s therapy

My heart’s best healer!

 ~*~*~*~

Written for Haiku Heights

and One Single Impression 

Prompt: Nature

 

Amity

My own photo!

Politicians seem the friendliest
When elections are nearest
They always wear a smile
To conceal their cunning guile…

To win the hearts of voters
They are quick with handshakes
They lift the children to peck their cheeks

And please the moms with such ease…

They make all kinds of wild promises
To bring the moon and meet your needs
If only you vote to make them succeed
Only to be forgotten when they win

They unfailingly hold a grudge
Against those who don't oblige

And make for bitter enemies

To innocent people like me!

When will politicians ever learn? 
That with humility and service they can earn

The goodwill of voters and people they need
But they need some traits to stand them in good stead.

Let me say my piece:

“Amity is virtue…

Amity is the best policy…

Amity is the magic word…

Amity is the key to success…”

Boom!!!

Written for One Single Impression
Prompt: AMITY

Also for Haiku Heights

Prompt: WITCH

Kindness

Photo Courtesy

The world is heartless
Kindness seems elusive

Children die of hunger
While rich wallow in comfort

Beggars brave the cold in pavements
Amidst palaces that shine in adornment

Babies mercilessly abandoned
While dog shows are pompously celebrated

Children exploited on hard labor
For the employers to save on wages

Young girls forced into life of sin
 For the rich in pleasure to indulge in

The problems are endless
The deprived are helpless

Kindness seems very elusive
The world is heartless

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Written for One Single Impression

Prompt: KIND 

Conscious

Image Courtesy

Your warm breathe I felt

Closer you came, lodged a kiss

Conscious, I begged more!

Written for Haiku Heights

Prompt: Conscious

My Real Elixir!

When lost, sad, and down

your smile warms my heart . . .
my real elixir!

When pains left me drained
your gentle touch is a real balm . . .
my real elixir!

When soaring hopes suddenly dashed

your comforting words caress my soul . . .

My real elixir!

When my heart feels lonely
the mere thoughts of you uplifts my spirit . . .
my real elixir!

When my body aches and becomes restless

your presence lifts my mood . . .

my real elixir!

Endless Waves

My thoughts are like waves

Tossed and turned in a sea of

Turbulent ideas.

~*~*~*~


Written for Haiku Heights
Prompt: WAVES

And Alex' A-Z Challenge

E for Endless

Doubt

I have some talents

Am I one born creative?

I doubt if I am!

*~*~*~*

I love doing needle work

even when it is time to cook

I could crochet with my nimble fingers

even when the aroma of stew lingers

I create in the blanket  designs of nature

for a hapless  baby with bleak future

That cannot make out the intricate  patterns I weave

for the motherless baby of my friend whom I grieve

I love to make all types of  cookies and cakes

In various designs and colors with delicious icing

as yummy as what a regular baker makes

Their aroma makes the neighbourhood drooling

I love to write all my thoughts and dreams

That keep flowing like gentle streams

Be they short stories or verses that rhyme

They engage my mind most of the time

Knitting, baking and writing keeps my soul alive

Keeping me ever busy as I strive

wondering sometimes at my rich and varied  life  

I keep asking am I really born creative?

~*~*~*~

Written for Haiku Heights

Prompt: Waves

And Alex' A-Z Challenge

Deserted Inbox

My own photo!

Deserted inbox

Holds precious fragile memoirs 

Worth reminiscing. 

~*~*~*~

Written for Haiku Heights

Prompt: DESERTED

Also for One Single Impression

Prompt: INBOX

P.S. There must be some confusion on my take on inbox...as in, box! However, I would prefer my inbox to be like a treasure trove this time! :)

Eager

Photo Courtesy: HERE

Eager muse drives pen

Breathes life to prose and poetry

Adventurous mind!

~*~*~*~

Written for Haiku Heights

Prompt: EAGER

And Alex' A-Z Challenge

Prompt: ADVENTUROUS 

"That Last Night"

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 26; the 26th Edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The topic for this month is 'That Last Night'.

Jillian’s heart was pounding. She was sweating. Restless. "This would change my life," Jillian thought. "Should I go or not?" she wavered.

Her phone rang. She picked it up. It was Vie, her heart throbbed.

“Are you ready, honey? I will come pick you up few minutes from now.”

Her heart almost skipped a beat. He was serious with his proposal. “Oh my God,” she uttered. Panic stricken all over her face. Hanky wet with perspiration that continuously ran down her forehead, cheeks and nape. Jillian was scared whether she was doing the right thing.

The moment of truth dawned on Jillian. She was deeply in love with him but had not til this day got intimate. She’s almost there; soon she will cross the Rubicon.

“Beep, beep,” his car went honking in front of her house. He was there. That debonair of a man who made her knees weak. Her palpitations went faster.

Unconsciously as if in a daze Jillian walked to his car and got in quickly to avoid being seen with him.

The moment the car with tinted glass closed, he pulled her towards him for a hug and gave her a long and passionate kiss on her mouth. She could hardly resist and she responded with equal fervor. He stopped the car thrice on the way.

They soon reached a fine dining resto and went to the corner table that was reserved for him. There was a woman in formal dress seated already which Vie had not informed. The moment that lady in white saw them, she stood up with her hands extended and said “Welcome Jillian. I am happy Vie could persuade you to come for his birthday. You are one of our best friends”

Jillian was taken aback. Did Vie know that his wife would be there and why he then brought her here, Jillian wondered? Hiding her surprise Jillian said, “I could not refuse Vie when he said you will be here and that you were expecting me.”

“Don’t think I am that sweet. I am a bit selfish. I am to go right away to the airport to receive our chairman from New York. I didn’t want my hubby to miss his birthday. It struck me why not call Jillian to fill in my place. Thanks Jillian. I am off now. Take care as Vie can get mischievous ideas.” She kissed her husband and left in a hurry.

Vie’s wife was not a good looking woman. She was very short, looked bland, dark, with her teeth not aligned well. Vie was a tall and handsome man. They were surely not made for each other. Jillian pitied him.

She was shaken from her reverie when she heard Vie. “Honey, come on, finish eating fast. Let us go to our room that I have booked.”

She realized he was serious about his intent to make the night memorable. She remained silent when he settled the bill and walked behind him like a willing victim.

Once inside, he closed the door and said, “The moment we have been waiting for has arrived at last. Let us make this night a memorable one, especially it's my birthday.”

As he came forward to embrace her, she said, "I am sorry Vie. I have second thoughts. Your wife may look like a plain Jane but her heart is pure gold. She is trusting and knowing your nature she even warned me. I will not betray her trust. Let this be the last night when we could have gone wrong. I love you with all my heart but I love and respect her trust in me more. I am sorry, let me go.” She said and walked out in tears.

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

My new-found passion!

I am truly passionate

In baking yummy cakes

Chocolate, cream cheese, whatever flavors

I may use wheat, all purpose or cake flour

It may be crisp, moist and layered

They surely are nicely flavored

Aptly and beautifully decorated

With creamy icing artistically piped in and colored

Fancy cakes for any occasion

Or plain cakes just for satiation

Lip-smacking they surely are

Wanting more as you devour

Making cakes is my passion

The joy I derive in my creation

And the ornate designs I make

Are all for your ready take

Cakes for happy birthday

Grand one for the wedding day

I make for merry Christmas

And for celebrations joyous

Side notes: I baked this yummy chocolate cake last night, in time for 

my hubby's birthday today! :)

Travel

Image Courtesy: HERE

~*~*~*~

I wish that my muse

Travels to a yonder place

Pen! thus inspires me! 

~*~*~*~

Image Credit: HERE

Written for Haiku Heights
Prompt: TRAVEL

Also shared at:

Jingle Poetry At The Gooseberry Garden