TEARS

They stained my pillow and

Etched the heartaches

And agonies that almost

Ruined my

Self-worth. 




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INSECURE

It hurts me like crazy 

Nothing can compare the pain 

Seems to my heart so heavy

Even in my sleep it

Creates a nightmare so hazy

Until I can no longer compare

Real from dreamy 

Ecstasy 

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I'm Not Perfect...

I'm not perfect, that's what I am. But despite of my imperfections, 

I wish you could love me, 

would love me 

and still love me. 

It hurts so much when I see you creating a world of yours. 

But can't you feel that I'm trying my best 
to bring you also into my own world? 

Because...

that's how I love you,

that's how I adore you,

that's how I respect you,

that's how I care for you,

that's how I give importance yo you.


Though I am not perfect, love me for what I am, 

for who I am, for who I am when I am with you...

Because imperfections should not be a hindrance 

in loving someone truly, honestly and sincerely...

Instead, let imperfections be the reason to learn 

to love and care for me, because...

In spite of your imperfections,

I am trying my best to love you, too,

I am teaching my heart to love your imperfections, too

Because I believe...

that if you can take me for what I am

And I can take you for who you are,

Then our love for each other will flourish and grow

And mature to a level where nothing can destroy us  at all, till the end! 

And because I am not perfect, and because you are not perfect,

yet you still love me for what I am and I still love you for who you are,

then that is ...

REAL, TRUE LOVE!

If in the end you find me imperfect for you, just let me know so that I can prepare myself and try my best to let my love for you die a natural death...

But not for now...because...

I still want to love and care for you

I still wish our plans and dreams to come true

I still pray that in the end...

I will grow old with you

Spend my lifetime loving you

Till our last breath and even after death...

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Feeling Grouchy?

If I missed being online at Blogville for the past week, it is because I was grounded and I also attended a very important seminar on Performance Management System. As a government employee and maybe just an ordinary employee, I learned a lot from the said seminar. And I want to share with you what have touched me so much. It is about a closing presentation by the trainers after said two-days seminar. Brace yourselves, and hope you would feel the same way I did and still do. 

Feeling Grouchy? 

If you think you are unhappy, picture yourself in their place...

                                                  

If you think your job is tough, how about him?

If you think your salary is low....what if this were you?

If you think you don't have many friends... think of him.

You think study is a burden, how about her?

                                                

When you feel like giving up... think of these men.

If you think you struggle in life... do you struggle as much as he does?

If your society is unfair to you... what about her?

What good did it do to be grouchy today?

Did your surliness drive any trouble away?

Did you cover more ground than you usually do, 

Because of the grouch you carried with you?

If not, what's the use of a grouch or a frown,

If it won't smooth a path, or a grim trouble down?

If it doesn't assist you, it isn't worthwhile.

Your work may be hard, but just do it...

AND SMILE

When you've thank God for every blessing,

what time is there left for murmurs and laments?

If you can't be thankful

for what you receive, 

be thankful

for what you escape.

(P.S. Thanks to our very knowledgeable trainors, Ma'am Jovy and Ma'am Lota of the Civil Service Commission, Regional Office 02.)

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Grounded!

"If you don't stop that blog, blog, blog you are doing, I will blog, blog, blog you!" That was the firm but compassionate statement of my hubby a week ago. And he added, "from now on, you're grounded from laying your fingers on the computer!" Huh!

I knew he was firm because he was so worried with my health but a hint of compassion in his voice suggest he will still tolerate me of my blogging spree.

It was a Wednesday afternoon in office. I sneaked into my computer and was chatting with my friend when suddenly, I felt excruciating pain in my head, it felt like it would burst. I wanted to knock my head on the wall coz it was really hurting so bad. I took an under time from office work coz I can no longer tolerate the pain and went home hurriedly with the help of an officemate, lest I would just pass out on way way home. 

I immediately lied down in bed but after a few minutes, I was sweating so hard and can no longer control the urge to empty my innards, and I did. Then I passed out. 

The doctor smiled at me, maybe to reassure me I would be just fine, but I felt I wasn't. Stress. Over fatigued. Prescriptions... prescriptions!!! Bed rest. Hot soup. For several days as implied by the doctor. And the most dreaded..., "stop being exposed to the computer and tv for the time being because of your migraine bouts and you need to consult an opthalmologist the soonest, and yes, don't forget your vitamins so your sinusitis will heal immediately". And he added, "stay in a dark room because bright light triggers migraine episodes". So, those were the culprits of that excruciating pain in my head? 

"Oh no!". I mumbled to myself.

I want to go back to blogville soon so I religiously followed the doctor's and my hubby's orders. Not too bad to be like an obedient child sometimes. And it pays.

Folks, this is my first post after my short break, but no assurance yet that I would be back to active blogging. I'll take it one day at a time.

To all of my well-wishers, Prams, Priya Joyce, Preety, Vyshu, Windel and Lena, thank you so much...you are all the reasons why I want to recuperate the soonest. And to all my other silent followers, thank you, too. I missed you all guys!

But, shhhh.......am just sneaking again, you know! Hope I will not be caught by my guardia sibil. 

I'll Take A Break

To all of you,


I'm taking a break from blogville coz' i am so sick. Promise, once i would have recuperated from my illness, I'll let you know I am back.


To Vyshu, sorry but I can;t claim my award yet from you. Can i claim it later? And thank you so much. Do I deserve it? I just cant stay online for so long because of deteriorating eyesight. Need to have a new eyeglass before I can be back to active blogging.


See yah later folks! I will miss you all for sure!


:-)


P.S. Special thanks to my very good friend out there who advised me to see an eye specialist. Thanks so much.:-)

Miss Preety Made My Site this Pretty!

She’s Preetilata and she’s got a unique name that appears even in her mails and in her profile in her blogsite. She owns “My White Window”, one of the best in bloggerville. 

I love the first design of her site, it was so beautiful. A lovely girl perched on a white window and looking outside said window, looks like she’s having some deep musings, wishful thinking. Maybe she’s thinking of somebody from far away. I was enticed to go back every now and then but quite hesitant to let her know of my presence there. I feel I didn’t belong to her group of elite writers.

When Lena was just too friendly to be one of my followers, I took the courage to say, follow her site and there I am as one of her followers.

And then, this girl, Miss Preety suddenly became my follower and in one of my blogs “What A Headache”, she posted a comment and asked me if I want that she will make a new template for my site. Hey, I didn’t have second thoughts and I readily answered, “yes, of course”.

So, here my dear followers, is the new template design of my site. Isn’t it beautiful? Isn’t it pretty like the artist behind it?

I will forever be indebted to you my dear young lady. I know you have a good heart as manifested in your voluntary will to design a site for me. We have some few chats while she’s working on my new template and I told her she’s already like a daughter to me but she prefers I am a big sister to her.

Miss Pree, words are not enough to express my gratitude to you. With this new template you’ve made for me, I will surely treasure it and use it forever as a design of my site, not unless you have again a new one in mind for me. He he he…:)

I tip my hats off to you, Ms. Preety Artist. May your tribe increase!!!

God bless!

Nurture Love

"For love to survive and grow,

nurture it with honesty, sincerity, loyalty

thoughtfulness and tender, loving care".

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Almost An Addiction

If  it is food, it's sweet indulgence. But no! I am talking about my love for blogging and am starting to develop an unusual addiction to it.

More often than not, I would be in deep slumber already but my thoughts and subconscious seem to be writing a post. I would have to wake up and pen my thoughts in a piece of paper, lest i forget those beautiful lines for a poem and ideas for any ordinary post, and when I will have the luxury of time, encode it in my laptop, save it as draft and post it at an appointed time.

Almost an addiction. Sweet indulgence not on food but in blogging. I won't let a day pass by without visiting bloggerville and see my followers of their new posts. I would also be excited to see comments of my followers over my post that are really encouraging and very inspiring.

Comments are a variety. Some comments uplift spirits. Others encourage me to keep on and still others are just amazed of my new posts. 

Some followers became good friends while others are simply there to support my neophyte effort at blogville. Whatever it is, I am developing a certain kind of addiction that's soooo.....good i would always want to whet this appetite. Well, it's not a bad addiction, though. It's something that gives positive things in life.  It gives one an encouraging thought that out in this world, blogging transcends race. You meet friends, make new ones and the best high it could give you? You can always pour out your feelings, thoughts, emotions, dreams and illusions through your written output. And I bet, nothing can beat that certain kind of high!

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Waiting for Miss Preety

Night and day I open my blogsite

Waiting and looking for Miss Preety

Owner of My White Window

Of the surprise she would give me


I want to let you know that I am excited
Over the surprise you have promised
For I want to let blogerville know
That there's a hidden talent in you

I even wrote a post about you
Proclaiming the artist in you
But that post can wait
Until I see the surprise I will get


I know you are so busy my dear

And I understand you loud and clear

But don't worry Ms Pree

Because I will continue waiting for you here.

If I Only Know You

(I would like to post these messages of yours as a sign of gratitude to you, though I do not really know who you are...Thank you so much for these messages....:-)

Wonderful Rythm

Dance with me

To the sweet tune of the music

Sway with me

Move with me in harmony

I feel your breath in my ears

I smell your sweet perfume in my nose

I could see that tender look in your eyes

While we gracefully dance to the sweet tune of the music

I will remember this moment

When you are so close to me

I could even hear your heartbeat

And feel your gentle caress on my arms and body

This night is so wonderful
As if the moon and stars in the sky are smiling at us

Two beautiful souls moving to the gentle rhythm of the music

Trying to feel that there’s no other else in the dance floor

But only you and me 

Naughty Cupid

Cupid's armament 

hits me hard

bulls eye

with a very lethal, 

venomous, poison 

of his arrow

right deep in my heart.

Next time, Cupid

spare me of your fun

lest i can't forgive you

never, ever, again!

My Secret Garden

In my secret garden

Every corner of it is planted to beautiful

Colorful, bright, attractive flowers

Of different varieties and species

In my secret garden

There lives a family

A happy, blissful and contented family

Bound by love, respect and care for each other

In my secret garden

There a simple abode is erected

Where the simple amenities in life

Are enjoyed by the owners

In my secret garden

Problems are not present

The owners live a happy contented life

Far from the chaos of the modern world

In my secret garden

You can always hear the owner

Sing happy tunes of olden times

That gives a happy thump of the heart

In my secret garden

There’s aplenty

Of food and other needs of the happy family

To sustain them throughout their existence

In my secret garden

Life is beautiful

Utopian and peaceful

Perfect and wonderful

Much to my desire to live in that secret garden, too

I still have to immortalize its existence

So that I can have a taste of life in that secret garden

Far from the harsh realities in life

Hi! Am Back!!!

I'm done with two posts and it's only now that I realized am back again writing blogs.

Was my blogging vacation too short? The truth is, I was really tired and exhausted with the past week's event in my life but I can't wait another day without logging in to my blogsite and post some few thoughts. I also have to read the latest posts from my fellow bloggers. and sure enough, I am here, I am back, tired but excited to tap the keyboard of my machine and share my thoughts online. 

Thank God, my vacation didn't take too long. I was really expecting that I will be out for a couple of weeks but events were really good to me. My hubby's hospitalization was cut short because the surgery done  to him was just minor. And the doctor was too good to tell us that he will have his next check up after ten days and that would be on the 14th of the month.

Well, my hubby is sparing me the burden of accompanying him for his next check-up. He said, by that time he can manage to go alone. I was more than happy because I will also be spared of another week's absence from my work. And from my blogging spree. 

The Magic Potion

Nope. It’s not a drink that once you gobble it down your throat, would make somebody fall so much in love with you, if you might think it that way. It’s not something either that would make one get hypnotized by you if you sprinkle it on her face.  So, guess what I’m talking about? It’s all about Creative Writing. It’s that magic potion if you may allow me to believe it that way. And it’s one of my best friends. It really works for a dreamer like me.

For me, creative writing gives life to my fantasies. It tries to make my dreams become a reality. It animates my thoughts and emotions. It gives life to my hidden feelings. Yes, that’s the magic of creative writing for me. It’s really a magic potion, that’s why I love creative writing.

I learned back in high school that Creative Writing works for three popular types such as short stories, plays and poems. With this learning, it really works for me.

I've tried writing short stories already and my one attempt is still unfinished, am about to write Chapter 8 of it yet. Isn’t that too long for a short story to have so many chapters? Poems? I’ve tried some but I forgot how to really make a good one. How about plays? Never tried one.

I’ve yet to discover more things that creative writing can give me. But for now, it gives me much freedom to express my dreams and fantasies in life. Thanks for learning about Creative Writing. And thanks to my English teacher who taught me about the subject, maybe that was 26 years back then. 

Thank You Vyshu

Yes, thank you so much Vyshu for giving me that very important piece of advise should I will try again to redesign my site. I should have known it earlier.


Vyshu, life is really beautiful, isn't it? But for me, I always try to live in dreams, although it's only fantasy. There are so many beautiful things in life that are impossible to happen in the real world.


And I think, that's the harsh realities in life. Simply because you can't have everything you want in life. So I just try to live in it in my dreams...


Like all the other bloggers that I admire, you are one of the best in my list.


Keep up Vyshu because "Life Is Beautiful". You can really inspire so many others with your craft. And honestly, I am one of them.

What A Headache!!!

I visited Pramoda's Being Pramoda, the layout is beautiful. Every time I visit Lena's The Colors Magazine and Colors of My Soul, I envy her site's design. And even Preetilata's White Window. They are all beautifully designed blog sites and even the contents are every interesting.

And here I am, for two days, I did try to make a new design of my site. And you know what happened? It did give me a headache, a throbbing pain of my brain and skull because I almost lost all the contents of my site. I almost wasted all my efforts for more than ten months of writing. 

But thank God, it's now starting to make a face. Little by little, I was able to recover the original contents of my site. And hopefully, add some more interesting contents.

However, I will be on leave for the next couple of weeks and hope to be back soon. I have to attend to a very important personal need.

So folks, promise I will be back very soon. Ciao.....


P.S. Thanks to Lena for always dropping by my site; my gratitude to Pramoda for giving me the thought of redesigning my site and to Preetilata for being the new follower of my blogs. I love you all!