Sunday, July 12, 2009

A Mother's Woes

Motherhood is synonymous to sacrifices, agonies, miseries, sufferings; the difficult and hard side of parenting. For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been into that. My faith with God has been tested. At times, I feel like questioning Him. But then, I know that this is a test of faith in Him, like if we ever feel like giving up on our existence or in our faith with Him.

How would you feel when your loving kids and even your adopted children will get sick one at a time and even simultaneously? It’s so heavy in the heart. Aside from the emotional pain, the physical side and the financial aspect, this would give you so many burdens, basically as a mother.

How much more if you’re a single parent? It is because your husband works in a very far place? And you must play the role of both a mother and a father? Calls and texts from him may suffice or fill in his absence but I felt that wasn’t enough. This is the dilemma of a family when the breadwinner must leave if only to provide a decent living for his family. But that would be better than a mother leaving the father and her children for her to find work and provide for her family.

I have a very good friend who left her family to work in a very faraway place. She sacrificed so much. She sacrificed being away from her family just to make their life better. But it didn’t bear all good things. She must be earning so much, but there’s a higher downside of it. When she was about to get her husband and work with her in just a matter of days, her husband died of an accident. What happened to the kids? They were fatherless and they have an absentee mother. Though they are no longer kids, the absence of both parents gave them much freedom to do what they wanted to do. The ever-sacrificing mother just continues to send much money believing that her kids are doing well in school. But disappointingly, it was the other way around. They became wayward, they became school delinquents and they never finished their studies.
My friend’s entire thought, they were fine because she was giving them more than they need. But they were not.

So I hope you’re convinced that mothers’ woes are incomparable. Mothers have more burdens to care for their kids, to let them grown into fine young man and woman. And the good fathers should realize that.

A father should realize that he has a wife that can be considered a superwoman; a superwoman who from the start of daylight would start working and tending to her kids’ needs until the late hours of the evening because she has to help her kids with their assignments; a superwoman who could hold a hammer and nail to make a school project for her kid; a superwoman who should know how to repair some plumbing problems, some destroyed faucets and other facilities at home; a superwoman who would immediately run to the doctor because her son is almost in a seizure because of high fever; a superwoman who wouldn’t dare close her eyes while sitting beside the bed of her sick child. And silently, she would cry to herself, to ease herself a little from her burdens. A father doesn’t know that. A father doesn’t feel anything so heavy like that.

A father should realize that giving money to his family is just his basic role. He should realize that more than the money, his family also needs his love, care and attention.

Yes, a father should realize that her wife who was left to take care of the kids also feels tired and spent; she also gets fed up, she also feels like surrendering every time some hard to manage chaos sets in the family; she also gets sick because of the daily routine which would tax her body. After all, she’s not really a superwoman when she gets sick already. She’s just as frail and fragile and delicate like any other woman. But she has to put on a brave front in the sight of her kids. She can’t afford to get sick though her health’s condition is sending a very strong message that she’s already ill. She must not get sick, she must not show any hint of getting tired or disappointed, she must not show that there’s something wrong with her health. Yes, that’s how a mother should always display herself in front of her kids.

How much more if she’s a working Mom? Then you can double the agony. She’s tired at home and she’ll surely get tired at work. And for sure, the toll on her health could also be doubled. This time, the more she can’t afford to get sick because she has to go to work five days a week.

How about her role in school as a child’s mother? Yes, she must get in touch with her children’s respective schools because there’s need to. You would be lucky if your child is not a delinquent student and the other side of the coin, you are so lucky if your children are all achievers. You would tire going up the stage to don their medals and trophies. That’s so much consolation for a parent. The rewards for all the immeasurable sacrifices you have for them. That’s the time when you feel like you’re on cloud 9.

After all, one’s woes could be well compensated of her children’s achievements and success in school and later in life.

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