Dollars vs. Homesickness

Christmas is in the air. You hear everyone playing Christmas songs in their homes. I feel very nostalgic every time I hear the lyrics from several popular Christmas songs. Let me quote some: “Christmas won’t be the same without you,” I’ll be home for Christmas,” “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas,” “I saw mommy kissin’ Santa Claus,” and many more.

But the saddest song of them all is the Tagalog Christmas song popularized by Gary Valenciano, entitled: “Pasko Na Sinta Ko”. For my readers who can’t recall the exact lyrics, let me share it with you.

Pasko Na Sinta Ko

Pasko na sinta ko hanap-hanap kita
Bakit magtatampo iniwan ako

Kung mawawala ka sa piling ko sinta
Paano ang Pasko, inulila mo

Sayang sinta ang sinumpaan
At pagtitinginang tunay
Nais mo bang kalimutang ganap
Ang ating suyuan at galak

Kung mawawala ka sa piling ko sinta
Paano ang Paskong alay ko sa’yo

Sayang sinta ang sinumpaan
At pagtitinginang tunay
Nais mo bang kalimutang ganap
Ang ating suyuan at galak

Kung mawawala ka sa piling ko sinta
Paano ang Paskong alay ko sa’yo

For six straight years now, my hubby is always away from us during Christmas season. His text to me a while ago read this way: “Pasko na naman, nakakaasar! (it’s again Christmas and its so irritating!)” I knew he meant he’s again sad, depressed, gloomy, unhappy, because he can’t be with us again this Christmas. And I texted him back saying, “we all here feel the same way.” As proof, we did not decorate our Christmas tree, we did not hang any lantern or Christmas lights which are all symbol of the yuletide season.

I know I am not alone in this predicament. We are so many. A member or members of many families here in our country leave their loved ones to look for greener pastures to earn dollars for their respective families left behind, so they can provide them with decent living conditions and send their children to decent schools to finish a degree. The sacrifice is great and the consequence is immeasurable. HOMESICKNESS that nothing can compare!

Again, this Christmas, how can Santa be kissing mommy underneath the mistletoe during the nights when he is miles away? Of course, Christmas won’t be the same without Daddy Santa. And my kids will continue to wish a white Christmas just like the ones they used to know, where the tree tops glisten and children listen, to hear the sleigh bells in the snow.

But Daddy Santa promised that two years from now and he will be home for Christmas. That will still be in 2010. Whew. . . it’s too long to wait.

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a i helped my two boys prepare their luggage, the older one will go to Baguio City to take the College Entrance Exam at SLU; the younger, he will join the Division Presscon at Ballesteros;

a after that, I went to bed immediately after giving their respective allowances;

ai could hardly get to sleep;

aat past 12 midnight i received a text message from my daughter telling me she's sorry bout getting mad at me because i am again dipping my hands into her personal life;

ai could hardly sleep because of her text message;

aat past 2 am, i awoke in cold sweat, chilling, i had a nightmare;

ai was able to sleep at past 4 am but the nightmare continued;

ai heard the dogs barking, as if somebody's around the house;

ait was already morning and i felt as if i didn't get a good sleep.

That was how my night went on. Last night. . .