Dawn of Confusion???

It was past midnight. The tick of the clock and the hum of the AC were deafening in the still midnight. Why is it that everything appears magnified in the darkness of the night, the fears, and even the hunger. I felt famished. The culprit? A mouth blister that hindered me to eat enough, the pain is just excruciating. I  prepared myself a mug of hot chocolate drink and drank it with some bites of cheese cake soothing to my hurting mouth and satisfying my gustatory cravings.

As I could not sleep even after satiating those hunger pangs in my stomach, I decided to write in advance this Sunday’s prompt at One Single Impression ~ Dawn. 

My mind was swimming in endless thoughts. I could not decide on what to write to render the prompt. Will it be a short story? A poem? Or some morning thoughts? There was a raging conflict within my mind on what to write. I decided, let me write what all came to my mind and do the final choice at the end.

Will I write about:

A poor scavenger boy’s struggle

Whose life and survival

Depended on mounds of garbage

That he collected and removed

His income linked to the quantum handled

He always looked forward to heaps of rubbish

In every new dawn?

Or will I write about:

A colleague’s utter agony

When she was diagnosed

With stage two cancer

Followed by inevitable mastectomy

Almost halfway through her

Enervating chemo sessions

She wished for a remission

Hopeful that she’d still wake up to

Many more new dawns?

Or will I write about:

A farmer’s poor lot

Who after planting his crops

Had the misfortune of a typhoon

That wreaked havoc on his field

Ravaging the bountiful crop he had hoped

Leaving nothing but barren land

Crushed though, his hopes were not dashed

Resilient he was in the belief

That in the months to come  

He can raise fresh crops

To recoup his staggering loss

Positively looking forward in his life for

A bright new dawn?

Or will I write about:

Life is full

Of ups and downs

Of highs and lows

Of blessings and trials

Of tranquility and storms

Of peace and wars

Of joys and sorrows

But for every down

Trial, storm, low

War and sorrow

 There lay ahead

A bright, new DAWN?

The roosters in the neighborhood have started crowing noisily. I looked at my watch. It’s almost five in the morning. The sun has started scattering its bright light on the horizon. The glasses in my bedroom window shimmered in  the early morning light that the thick curtains could hardly conceal. 

Whewww….good morning fellow OSI writers!!! J

I am just overwhelmed this morning seeing a bright new dawn and have nothing sensible in mind to finally write, after spending almost half of my sleeping hours wide awake like an owl. Now haggard looking and wished to hit the pillow once again… J ;)

But what a dawn, a beautiful dawn… J

Yeah, morning has broken and yet, my mind was still not able to decide what am I finally gonna write? Weewwww... :P

~*~*~*~

P.S. Thanks to Leo for this Sunday's prompt at One Single Impression. But I feel bad Leo I was not able to do justice to it....:-(...weeewwww...sowweeee....:-(!!!

Written for One Single Impression (Prompts: Dawn)
Photo Courtesy

Carefree Days

There was a sprawling park across my house that had a children’s area in it. When I see the young children running in glee to the park in the evenings, my memory would go back to the years when I was a child.


I was born in a big city and I grew up there. As a treat, one joys of my child hood was my being allowed to visit alone the local park and play myself silly. The evenings would witness children flocking to the park in droves to enjoy playing in the swings, slides, revolving platform and various climbing equipments. It was always a treat because it was so full of greeneries, beautiful flowers and had everything a playground should have for little kids to enjoy.


I must thank my mother for encouraging me to play there daily though she had the cautionary words of safety, telling me not to walk in front or behind a moving swing, always to get down when it has stopped, to use the railings when I climbed, not to talk to strangers and not to stray alone behind bushes. Her care and concern is still vivid in my memory. I must admit the significant role these visits to park had in my growing up as a confident person.


It looks funny that she used the trip to the park as a reward for my visiting the dentist without throwing up tantrums. I had always made a big fuss and had to be cajoled, coaxed and even threatened for going to the clinic. I had a mortal fear of the drilling machine and loathed the shining instruments with a mirror that he inserted in my mouth. But the moment she promised a long stay at the park, all my protest melted away.


This evening as I was standing in the balcony, as was my past time to watch the happy children going to the park, I saw a police car and people huddled in groups and talking in hushed tones. Unable to resist my curiosity I went down to join the crowd. What I heard was a bizarre story of a pedophile luring a six year old girl with a bar of chocolate that was drugged to a corner of the park and attempting to satiate his lust beastlike on the girl. 


Luckily for the girl, her puppy that followed her barked so noisily that the wicked man was troubled. As he threw stone at the puppy, it caught the attention of a passerby to the spot before much damage could be done. The child was unconscious but was saved in the nick of time. The man was chased and caught and the girl taken to a nearby clinic.


This incident set me thinking how even a children’s park where innocence and gaiety alone ruled in my younger days, have become dangerous places. While my parents taught me to be respectful to strangers and mind my manners, it is perhaps necessary to teach the kids that it is okay to run away from a stranger, not to answer him, and scream if the stranger attempts to touch.


The park is no longer a haven and safe place for our kids as it used to be.


“Upon our children – how they are taught – rests the fate – or fortune – of tomorrow’s world”.

~*~*~*~

Written for Thursday Tales (Tale No. 12)
Photo Courtesy: andrewf1

Captivating Miracle

The morning is alluringly beautiful

The orange sun glowing on the east

Though its dazzle partly hidden

By the cumulonimbus clouds

Darkening the azure blue sky

I let my eyes wander a little

To see a green meadow and

An infinite vista of mountains

And rolling hills in the south still wet

With the trace of the morning dew

In the northern part

The vast blue ocean is breathtaking

Its waves breaking the rocky shore

With a rhythm accompanied

By the roaring sound of water

How could you erase

Such awesome panorama in mind

All I could gratefully utter is...

“Thank you Lord,

For this beautiful morning

And for this beautiful world

Where you lovingly placed me

Everything around is a manifestation

Of your graceful omnipresence

And your infinite omnipotence".




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Written for Three Word Wednesday (Prompts: erase, meadow, trace)
Photo Courtesy

The Return of the Prodigal

I sat there in the living room

With mixed emotions

Awaiting the return of the prodigal

An adopted daughter

For whom I took a fancy

When I saw her innocent smiles

Two years or more, does it matter?

She has been with me 

 No different from my kids 

 In everything I did 

Be it in sending her to school

Or in clothing or in the food she took

She had her monthly allowance too

As my thoughts drifted towards her

I feel teary eyed

May be tears of pain

For the many things she did

Often from my eyes away she hid

Things a young girl should forbid

May be tears of joy

That she will be back with me

I am just thankful to God

He has given me a kind heart

Though how many times

She has betrayed me

Now I feel so happy

That she has come back

I firmly believe that

She is truly repentant

She did it for her own good

For her bright and safe future.




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Lost in a Sea of Thoughts

I woke up today with a heavy heart, an aching head, a confused mind and lost in a sea of hazy thoughts. 

It’s been a week since I tried to hide from blogworld after my last post Hidden, for Blog-a-Tonic. I was intent on leaving at least temporarily one of the things I had learned to love most ~ blogging. The only reason that  I could weakly  advance to many well-wishers who asked me the reason   for this drastic step was what may appear a lame one, the one that every writer passes through at some stage – my muse was failing me or call it a writer's block (heck, too highfalutin)  or whatever you wish. My muse seemed a traitor to me for almost the whole week. My mind was blank, bereft of ideas, virtually bankrupt.

I realized now how noble were his intentions as he really wished that I get time to be with my real world where so much are awaiting to be completed, so much unfinished on hand and so much to start. He wished that I be closely involved with my personal affairs, have time to hug my precious little baby in the neighborhood who calls me “Mom” so sweetly and innocently, pay social calls, do lot of serious reading that I had given up, spend more time chatting with my precious gems studying at a distant place and devote more to the daily chores in the house when the regular help vanished without notice. And that I can have a balance of the real and blog world if I wished to.

I tried to evade the issue, the endless debate with the voice, the threat and told him I’d rather he slap me on my face to get me back to my senses, but told me he prefers to hit me right where I would be hurt because slapping me would only pain his hands. And while I won’t get back to my right senses, he will keep silent.

My thoughts drifted, roamed like a rudderless boat that kept drifting and roaming in a vast sea, waiting for someone to rescue it. I heard another voice that told me I can’t go on a blog break. The voice told he would miss my post that he was used to regularly. My heart skipped a beat. I felt a lump on my throat when he said: “Thank you Amity, for all your writing.  You are on my list of FIRST FAVORITES.  (And I don't even link to you, I know where you are.) So, I am begging, just a little writing until you pick back up.” That voice made me sleepless.

Then yet another voice came, telling me how hardheaded I am, and that I have that Icarusian tendency. I ignored the voice. Maybe I even hurt him unknowingly. But whatever he would tell, I know nothing seemed to be right with me then.

 
Every night, for the past few days, I woke up in a nightmare, like I was in an oubliette, ‘a dungeon’ in layman’s term. I wanted to be out of it and I was crying for help, for hands to pull me up.  And I realized suddenly  this morning that  my dreams were meant to tell me obliquely that when I hid from the blogworld  I  had put myself in a dungeon. Those hands I was trying to grope for help were the same voices that urged me to get back to writing and be active as ever in the blogworld.

Deep in my heart and soul I knew how lost I was, drifting like a lost ship with my muse playing truant, but though how lost I was, I would still end up to where I wish to be, a place where I tried to belong to and where I am also happy-the Blogworld. I decided that I should strike a balance between the personal matters and the blog world and that running away from either of them was no rational decision. So here I am back with you. I hope the voices, my anchors, are now happy with my decision. 

~*~*~*~

Written for Thursday Tales (Tale No 11)
Also for Three Word Wednesday (Prompts: hidden, noble, roam)
and linked to One Single Impression (Prompts: Icarus, Oubliette)
Photo Courtesy: Sadir89

Hidden

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 11; the eleventh edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

“Hide as long as you can, Mark! Lie as much as you wish!!! But this seems to be going nowhere Mark”, said Alyssa in a tone of total despair. “How many second chances do you still need to get back to your right senses?” she added, patience almost lost.

“But I told you, Alyssa, I did try to give up and am still trying. Much as I would wish I am unable to resist the pull”, Mark answered in a passive voice. “What am I gonna do? I promised to be steady with you na, but look, I am still messing up our relationship with this unacceptable weakness of mine every now then. I don’t find fault with you when you catch me red-handed with Nadine” added Mark as if hinting his inability to come clean as Alyssa would want him.

It had been such a struggle for them both. Mark seemed to always defy Alyssa’s warning that Nadine was a bad influence and that he must move away from her totally. The more he was warned, the more he continued his secret liaison with her. He had got rid of her once only to get sunk again in the cesspool unable to resist the temptation.

He found a different kind of bliss in the company of Nadine that Alyssa could not give him.

“How does it feel Mark?” Nadine said in a hushed tone. “Isn’t it heaven? C’mon, let’s enjoy, have great fun, feel free and don’t suffer from any guilt, Mark”, whispered Nadine, even as her bosoms were heaving under the ecstatic emotion.

“Oh, this is pure heaven, Nadine, I would never like to give it up”, said Mark while his heartbeat is getting wilder and faster too. He wanted to shout and moan in sheer thrill but Nadine was smart enough to silence him, putting her fingers in his lips. “No… please, Mark….my parents will hear us”, whispered Nadine is his ears.

Those hidden rendezvous were repeated with regularity. Alyssa would know by a mere look on his face and the body language of his secret tryst with Nadine. No amount of fights with Mark had any effect despite his remorse feelings and his assurances that he would never meet ‘that wretched girl’ again. She would only come to know on the second or third day their clandestine meetings.

There came a point when Alyssa decided to call it quits with Mark. She was just fed up seeing no meaningful future with such a depraved man. She saw reason in her parents’ advice that it is not an easy thing to kick him out and that she would be ruining her life if she continued her affair with him. She realized her utter foolishness in hanging on to Mark, believing that he will soon turn a new leaf.

She gathered all of Mark’s belongings, and decided that after coming from office, she will go to his house to return the engagement ring. Even as she was approaching his house, she saw a police car and a couple of policemen standing outside the gate at Mark’s home.

Then in a swift moment, she saw to her horror, Mark in handcuffs being ushered out of their house towards the vehicle by two policemen. He hung his head in shame and did not dare to look at Alyssa.

She ran inside the house to find Mark’s parents crying. It transpired that Mark was arrested after Nadine’s parents found out that he, along with Nadine were having pot sessions almost every night in Nadine’s house.

Alyssa was speechless and shuddered at the thought of her putting faith in his assurances and how her life would have been wrecked had she married him. She however felt sad for him that he was drawn into the vortex of drugs due to his wrong association with that debauch of a woman.

Whenever she went to their favorite dating place alone, she had only the flowers to keep her company and the azure blue sky as a witness to her tears. At a distance, she would see that mountain that inspired them to build their dreams before he fell into the clutches of that evil Nadine.

She realized that it was a great mistake to lean onto his promises of kicking the habit, rehabilitation and hiding the fact from her parents and his, too. She decided Mark had no place in her heart anymore and that this was not the end of her life.

For the many hidden heartaches  and agonies. She felt relieved at last. And she saw that the horizon is promising. 

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Written for Thursday Tales (Tale No. 10) and
Linked to Blog-a-Ton ( Prompt: Hidden)
Photo Courtesy: Junest

Agony

Happily married for twenty five years now, Hannah and Mike were a picture of a perfect couple with three teenage nimble kids, a girl and two boys, all are in college. To be married this long without misunderstanding was pure bliss and an envy of others.

During the nights, before bedtime, they would happily share what had been each other’s day as both worked in two different offices. They would be giggling as they snuggled closer to each other. They often discussed big plans after the kids are done with college. Hannah would then stop working to give more time to Mike and take those much dreamt about holidays. A cruise to the Caribbean Islands, a vacation in Europe, Hawaii and much more were on their list.

They couldn’t miss each other without sending sms or calling even while busy at work. The end of the day was always much anticipated.

Of late, Hannah’s trip to the comfort room became frequent. It seemed that her innards would want to come out of her. She was getting worried. She had started losing appetite and weight. She felt easily exhausted too. But she did not divulge anything to Mike lest he got alarmed. She was afraid to consult a doctor too as her theory might be right.

Finally she had an Executive Check Up without the knowledge of her hubby. The result was alarming as she had apprehended but pretended the result did not budge her. The doctor did not hold out much hope as her condition was advanced and gave her a year at best. She decided not to disclose anything to Mike.

“Mike, can we take a month’s leave from next week?” asked Hannah. “Yes, why this sudden plan, honey”, asked Mike with a puzzled look. “Nothing, but I feel like spending time with you alone soonest”, expressed Hannah putting up a brave front.

“You know, when our kids were young, we hardly had enough time for each other. I would like sometime for us exclusively now”, Hannah continued.

“But are you sure you are okay?” Mike confirmed from her. “Yeah, I am okay,” assured Hannah with a big smile on her lips, yet trying so hard to hide the pain in her heart.

Soon they were on their flight to the Caribbean for the cruise and then a week’s vacation in Hawaii. Never had they such wonderful time and it looked like a second honeymoon.

“Mike, I love you so much…and I wanna tell you that you’re the greatest person I have ever met. What would my life be if I had not met you? I dunno,” she whispered while they walked hand in hand along the seashores. Mike smiled and hugged her closer. He was however puzzled why Hannah seemed to profess her love for him every now and then. But he dismissed the thought as part of growing old and craving for assurance often.

The kids were excited to welcome them home, and had prepared a surprise party. While having fun over the party, the phone rang. Mike answered the phone “Can I speak with Mrs. Castro?” the voice on the other end inquired. “Honey, phone!” shouted Mike trying to catch Hannah’s attention from several guests.

“Mrs. Castro, I regret to inform you that we made a big blunder. We had mixed up the report of another lady with same first name. It was only when she came to have her tests done again that the mistake was found out. I am glad to inform you that all your tests are normal and yours is only a case of stress and exhaustion. Please come to the hospital”, said the woman on the other end. Hannah was for a moment dumbfounded and then jumped with joy oblivious of the many guests around. She started to sob and smile all at the same time much to the amusement of Mike and others.

“Hooo....ney”, uttered Hannah in between sobs and tears as she ran towards Mike to give him a bear hug, “I hid something from you but God had been kind to us", she said as she related with joy what she hid from him for a couple of months now.

Written for Three Word Wednesday (Prompts: Budge, Nimble, Theory)
Photo Courtesy 

Joining the Contest @ The Colors Magazine

Hi, I am taking part in Lena's "Blog Post of the Month" contest for May.
The details of the contest can be found HERE

The post I am giving for the contest is "A Lasting Love" which can be found HERE