Saturday, April 03, 2010

Dad...You Are My Shining Star!

“We are each, the love of someone’s life”
 31 October 1998. He seemed to be in a tearing hurry to reach his destination in the province to spend Holy Week with his elder daughter’s family, though he had with him in this trip the latter’s two older kids.
Though tired with an almost 8 hours nonstop drive in the night, he did not think of even a small respite. The lure of his daughter was so overpowering that he wouldn’t stop. It would take another 4 hours to reach their destination. His wife seated at the back in the car constantly cautioned him to go slow as the dial  hovered around  120 kms/hour. She said speed may thrill but would also kill. He shot back “who would want to die anyway?” He often boasted that he was more skilful and safer than other drivers. Knowing him well that he rarely listened, his wife just retreated into silence.
It was 4:00 o’clock, the darkest hour before dawn on 01 November 2008. It could be the speed,the darkness all around, lack of sleep, a fleeting second of missed concentration or even destiny. The car plunged into a small ravine headlong coming to an abrupt and shattering halt. There were eight passengers in the ill fated car. There was a total deathly silence for a while till the two kids started shrieking  in pain frightened  totally  by the accident. People in the neighborhood on hearing the loud crash came rushing to extend a helping hand and to rescue everyone inside the car. Blood was sprayed everywhere inside the car, on the faces of victims and on the glass doors. Two persons inside the car had passed out unconscious after the rude halt.
The driver seemed conscious as he cringed for help from the people around. Someone stopped a passing jeepney to take all the wounded and unconscious passengers to the nearest hospital. None appeared to had succumbed to injuries on the spot. Things did not appear so bad as was feared except for the total damage to the vehicle. On their way to the hospital, her wife muttered her deep disappointment toward her husband for failing to heed her warning. He in turn tried to calm her down giving the impression that all was well with him.
The hospital para medical staff acted with alacrity rushing them to emergency. The doctors were busy attending on them. When the driver started shrieking  in acute pain and incoherently one of the dotors rushed  to him. He found shards of broken glass on his eyes. He cried in pain unable to move his back or hip. The x-rays revealed  a major dislocation of the pelvic bone. Further examination gave cause for major worry with heavy internal hemorrhage. He was rushed to the operation theater for an emergency surgery and  his condition was declared critical.
Around 6:00 AM, he gave up his valiant fight to live and peacefully passed away inside the operating room.
That was my father. Exactly 12 years ago today, they met that tragic accident together with my mother, my two older kids, three cousins and an aunt.
When I think of the fact that his intense desire to visit me made him undertake the long and tiresome journey by car at night, a sense of guilt comes up  and  the pangs of separation hurt me  thinking that I was indirectly responsible for his untimely end. He was my beloved father, too young to leave this world. I was the daddy’s girl and his fvourite amongst my siblings.
I was told by his neighbors of some bad omens suggesting unwelcome happenings to my parents.  A howling owl was seen on the roof of their house in the city.  And before the trip, he went to a tailor to have him sewn a pair of dark slacks and a barong Tagalog. On his last Sunday in church, he went about shaking everybody’s hands after the service that was unusual of him.
I loved my father so much. It was a special relationship with him that was intricate and compelling. Without a doubt, my dad’s influence on my life was powerful. He moulded my personal values and set high standard of expectations for the other men who crossed  my path--the friends, professionals, co-workers and husband. It was my dad to whom I would always go for advice, comfort and love.  He was proud of me in many ways. He was a protective father but however much I accomplished in my life on my own, I was still daddy's little girl till he passed away.

Today, as we remember his 12th death anniversary, I wrote this open letter for him.
To my beloved Father,
I know you are now in Heaven, watching and smiling over us your kids, grandkids and my beloved mother, your wife. I want to cry. When I reminisce those happy days we have with you, I feel sad that I miss you. The times when we were yet young and you played with us happily under the rain; buying us our favorite food, bringing us to your farm and working with you in jovial mood. We were a picture of a simple, humble but happy family. We may not have had all the riches in the world but we were a picture of a contented, happy family. The times when you lovingly played with my young kids and all your grand kids…I missed those times.
Father, look at your grandkids, most are teenagers now and some are fast growing up, all equally a sight to behold and equally intelligent. They surely miss you but fate was unkind to you.
We will just be consoled with the thought that you left us happy memories, all enough to make us smile when we remember you.
Thank you Father for bringing us into this world and for sharing with us some wonderful colors in life.
 And this poem by Joanna Fuchs , I dedicate to you:

You may have thought I didn't see,
Or that I hadn't heard,
Life's lessons that you taught to me,
But I got every word.

Perhaps you thought I missed it all,
And that we'd grow apart,
But Dad, I picked up everything,
It's written on my heart.

Without you, Dad, I wouldn't be
The woman I am today;
You built a strong foundation
No one can take away.

I've grown up with your values,
And I'm very glad I did;
So here's to you, dear father,
From your forever grateful daughter.
Written for Thursday Tales (Tale #1)
Photo Courtesy :BenoitPaille 


  1. A touching tribute.I give two quotes that show the special place dads have in our hearts.

    "He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it."

    "Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name."

  2. Yes! A Father means a lot to everyone... I like this kind of Story - Poem interceptions ... penned well, as ever :)

  3. ~ Any man can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad~

    Very touching story in the early morning !!
    Your father would be VERY proud if he could read this ....

    Your Dad is forever in your heart..
    Wonderful tribute Amity

  4. Very touching !!! I loved the way you penned down , and yeah , almost all gals are daddy's little angel as we have a special bonding with them ...I am happy that he left behind a wonderful memories behind and as Parthasarthi says .He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it." suits well ..:)

  5. Touching one Amity, My heart melting down with love..:) Memories are the treasure for life..Good that you are rich at them...Gals are Dad's fav of all :) Love to experience it thru ur post again Dear :)

    And,iam back with a bang after months ! Hope everything is fine wth you ..will catch up wth all the posts soon :)




  6. Woww!!!!!!!!! Touching Story Dear :) :) Excellent Write Up :) :)

  7. Touching one friend...!!


    See you again at Thursday Tales..!!

  8. Beautiful remembrance Amity.

  9. Hi, what a beautiful piece. I've had to move Carry On Tuesday to a new address. Hope to see you there. Keith.

  10. Aww... I am sorry about your loss. I can relate this. I have no father myself.

  11. Hai,

    That was a real touching past of urs...Few days bck, I wrote about my dad...and today when I read about ur dad, even when I feel sad for ur loss, I feel so blessed to have my dad with me always even after all those dangers and accidents he had faced and survived...

    God bless u and always give u strength to go forward with the truth of life...

  12. KP,

    Thanks so much for the added moral/wisdom!

  13. Hi Anya;

    What you all said are very true! Our own father are the best in the world!

    HUgs dear!


  14. Adreamygal;

    yeah, true they call that Oedipus complex...:)

    thanks for your wonderful comments!

  15. Helllo Vanessa;

    thanks a ton dear!

    and i welcome you with wide open arms with your big comeback!

    do catch up soon!

  16. Yamini;

    Thanks so much!



  17. Keith;

    Yes, i will check on it!


  18. Raaji;

    It's painful reminiscing, isn't it?

  19. Anamika;

    Hello to you... :)

    First time here?

    I hope it will not be the last time!

    Thanks, and you know it's really hard to lose a father too early!

  20. @ AMITY

    maybe it is letters like this which sets the world (oh we know whats wrong with it) straight. when you pour out such purest form of love into paper or into the world.

    I can't help but believe that everything is not lost. Human Beings still stand a chance.

    You were blessed to have a dad like that or maybe he was blessed to have a daughter like you.

  21. a bit long, but not lacking any emotion...
    well written! better be seeing more of ur thursday tales :)

  22. @ AMITY

    maybe it is letters like this which sets the world (oh we know whats wrong with it) straight. when you pour out such purest form of love into paper or into the world.

    I can't help but believe that everything is not lost. Human Beings still stand a chance.

    You were blessed to have a dad like that or maybe he was blessed to have a daughter like you.

  23. Hi Leo;

    Thanks dear...:)

    yes, looking forward to the next TT...:)

    see you there!

  24. Leo;

    yeah, too long i can't stop myself from penning the sad memories!

    next time i will strictly follow rules na... :D

  25. Sourcebound...

    Thanks for your words and thanks for taking time to read my post!

    Yeah, I am so proud of my father! And he must be proud of me, too!

    First time here? I guess...hopefully not the last time!