Monday, May 31, 2010

A Promise

Patricia was a carefree young girl. She had got many friends in school. She was a teacher’s favorite as she excelled in her studies. Endowed with long black hair, an enchanting smile, fair skin, she was a beauty to behold. When God showered talents and beauty, it seemed untrue to His nature He turned partial as all went to Patricia. Her beauty and brains drew all the guys to her like treacle did to the flies. But she remained simple barrio lass, humble, and always true to herself.

She had great dreams, she wished to achieve. Though she always had fun walking home by foot, rain or shine, she also dreamt of becoming somebody someday, and drive her own car, give her parents a decent home and life after all the hardships they have undergone while sending her to school.
One day, she met a guy in school, one year her senior. Rich, tall, dusky and handsome. He befriended her, sent her flowers and chocolates as rich guys always do to a loved one. He had a car and more often than not, would drop her home despite her protests especially on rainy days when the road turned slushy and sometimes impassable .The car would get muddied but this did not deter Joshua from dropping her. He loved her a lot and was sure that this was the girl he wished to have as his lifetime partner. Aside from being so humble, she being so beautiful and intelligent, he was confident that his parents would stand by his choice. The fact that they were also from rags to riches background stood only to his advantage.
“Hey Joshua, wow…seems you’re hooked with a rags?” Beatrix said mockingly and within earshot of Patricia.
“Beatrix, will you stop being rude? Your being a spoilt brat doesn’t give you the right to belittle others, especially my dear Patricia,” Joshua shot back almost angrily.
“Aha, so this is the girl you were bragging about to me since last month? She is pretty no doubt, but her being dirt poor could not be hidden. Look at her, Yaaikks……Poverty is written all over.!  Clever of you Patricia, trying to hook a big fish by flaunting shamelessly your face and figure, ha?”
Patricia was almost in tears. She ran under a big tree, sat in a bench there and sobbed unable to contain her tears. Joshua followed her, sat beside her and took her hands in his. “Shhh…don’t cry, Pat. From now on, I will not allow that brat to hurt you again. She’s jealous and just mad because I dumped her for you" Joshua pacified her.
But Patricia was too hurt to be mollified by such words. She believed she was not destined to love a rich guy. If she continued to love him, it will only hurt her more because she was just dirt poor and no match for the rich Joshua as Beatrix had emphasized.
“I know what you’re thinking my dear, but please, believe me, I really love you very much. Do you know that we are both rich? I am rich as I have your abundant love and you are richer than me as you have both my love and my riches. Please ignore that jealous girl,” Joshua pleaded in a hushed tone. She continued to sob, but she knew clearly what she would do now.
“Joshua, I know this is unfair, but I am also sure, we’re not meant for each other. See, a rich is for the rich, and a poor one like me is just meant for someone poor like me, too. There is an element of truth in what Beatrix has said. We are still young, and I know you will meet more deserving and rich girls for you, unlike me. Please allow me to move away from you. That is my fate. I am giving you up Joshua. Please do not pursue me”, said Patricia with a finality in her tone.
She ran outside the school compound without turning back once, trekked the muddy road back home alone as tears rolled down her cheeks. The dark clouds that had gathered broke into a heavy rain.
She was at peace with herself, as the rain drenched her totally as if to cool her ruffled mind. She felt relieved though she was really hurting inside but she promised to herself in the presence of the dark heavens and the muddy road that she would someday tread this same road, not as the dirt poor girl but a self-made and rich Patricia. And a smile settled on her lips.

Written for Thursday Tales (Tale No. 9)
Photo Courtesy: Spider13Bug


  1. its nice.. deserved a better ending.. rich meant for the rich, poor for the poor dint sound that well. liked the concept and the idea behind the picture was well thought out. good one Amity.

  2. Dear Amity,
    Good Story! Nice narrative and good flow. I liked it.

  3. Excellent Amity, a wonderful story, a pity they couldn't end up together happy ever after but if you have peace with yourself I guess the ending was right.


  4. Dear Mommy Amity,

    Indeed, another great story from you... though the story of Patricia was no stranger for me since i've read and seen the same in the books and movies still you managed to portray her story in such a touching way... and you did give justice at the end... fair enough for me to say: well done!!!:D

    Good day!!!:)


  5. Nice story, Amity. I guess a realistic end, though it happens the other way around too :)


  6. a very nice story narrated well bringing out the strong character and optimism of the girl at the end.I liked it

  7. Wow!!
    When did you write this story :))
    Its sooooo FANTASTIC !!!!
    I like it very much.
    You are a poet and writer
    I am proud of you :))

    Thanks Amity
    You are the first who want to marry me ....
    I'm so happy you ask me ....
    YES meowww.. meow...
    In fantasy world I can marry everyone ...
    but in real I am forever a old single :(
    cuddles for you meow..
    Kareltje =^.^=

  8. hi amity.welcome back dear..:) positive vibes..:) nice one.. and keep up the good work.. once again, nice template too.;)

  9. nicely narrated indeed. but somewhere i was more willing to hear the ultimate end like 7 years later, i sincerly hope there's a part two of this... Let Patricia fly again, and do tell us the tale of the tale when she does get rich...

  10. Hello;

    Hmmm...better ending? yeah, maybe, but Amity this time doesn't feel like writing a better ending!

    A sequel to it may do!

    Thanks so much!

  11. Hi Saras;

    Nice to see you back..!

    Thanks so much, glad you like it!

  12. Hi Mommy Yvonne;

    I guess so, you are right. When you are at peace with yourself, then it would be fine though you are hurting inside. Thing is, you will overcome the pain in the end!

    Thanks Mom, I am happy you liked my story!

    Good morning! :)

  13. Hi kelvin;

    Right! Love stories of this line has been so popular in movies and books, however, I was guided by the picture prompt, then when I started writing the story, the flow of thoughts lodged on that story line, so I just did it that way!

    Thanks son, you still liked it!

    Good morning!

  14. Hi Lena;

    Wowwwwww....I am happy you hopped by...:)

    Yeah, you are right, ending might have happened the other way around too, but sometimes if we try to be realistic, then that's a fine ending!

    I Missed you Lena dear!

    Will try to join the contest again...thought of just this morning, though I told Leo I might not!

    Good morning!

  15. Hi KP;

    Yeah, I find a strong character in Patricia this time in my story! Though not much of a happy ending, still I am happy with my blogger's reactions to the ending!

  16. Hi Anya;

    I wrote it yesterday morning...:)

    Hmmmm...I FEEL SO VERY ELATED...:) being a good story writer and poet seems far from reality yet...:) But writing n writing may make me better..:)


    Ha ha ha...Kareltje is gonna marry me? Don't turn me down, I beg of you!

    How's that for Amity and Kareltje ~ JUST MARRIED~~~!!! loLS...:)

    Hugs to you both, but I guess Mommy Anya won't allow Kareltje getting married to a blogger...ha ha ha...!

    Have a great day ahead! Hugs...mwah...mwah..mwah...!!!

  17. Hi Prams my dear;

    Thanks again for hopping by...:)

    And i wish you positive vibes, too!

    Template? hmmmmm...done by a dear friend!

    Hugs dear! Good morning!

  18. Nature Lover!

    Thank you so much!!!

    Good morning...:)

  19. Hi Samik;

    Welcome to Dreams...:)

    Great, you gave me an idea for a sequel...and yes, I could write and write another chapter of it, who knows! But no assurance of yet another happy ending!

    Thanks so much....wish to see you back!

  20. Beautiful writr Amity.. I thought ending is pretty positive... with a promise to self and smile on face.. what else.. in one's life can one cherish.. rising and shining.. like sun..

  21. Hi Ramesh...

    I wonder why we all wish happy ending...but now, the more I will write one on not a happy ending coz I get violent reactions...:)

    Thanks so much!

  22. lovely story and though it is not meant to always have happy endings it would have suited this one just fine :)

  23. Hi Melissa;

    Hmmm...i like your point here! But that's what makes it a good story, ending it not the way we expect it to be..:)

    Thanks for the visit dear! I have missed you here in my little space!

    Regards to Greg....:)

  24. Hi Anya;

    Good morning...:))

    Lovely pic of Meow...making me fall in love more with him>>>:)

  25. Amity dear, you touched my heart on this nice story. I like it,..

  26. Thanks Windel...:)

    Happy to note I touched your heart and glad you like it!